Post all your funny jokes in here. Ill start the ball rolling with this image I just found in my inbox..

Nighthawk playing pool is a joke

http://audio.todayfm.com/files/giftleave.wma

for the Roy Keane fans

Wee Billy the Weegie fae Castlemilk always wanted to look cool. His
friend told him that he needed a good designer pair of trainers to go
with his shell suit.


Billy saved up all his Giros and all the money he got back
from returning his empty bottles of Bucky and finally managed to
get himself a pair of brilliant white trainers to go with his
shell suit.


Proudly, he strutted down the street calling out to all the passers by
"See ma new trainers? Gallus, eh?"


One fine upstanding gentleman pointed out that they were
indeed a fine pair of trainers but was young Billy aware that he had a
lace undone?


Billy scornfully retorted that it was part of being cool to
have a trailing lace and that on the sole of the trainer there were
instructions for the wearer to do such a thing. When asked for
proof of this instruction, Billy took off his trainer and held it
upside down for the disbeliever to read. "


There y'are! It clearly says
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Taiwan !!!!!

A song for Thanksgiving


PF

http://www.msn.americangreetings.com/view....m=1652&rr=y&sou

someone looking for a job at 'Pauls' at EDI


http://www.shof.msrcsites.co.uk/job.jpg

GoEDI in disguise? :shock:

I read this in Tatler in the bmi lounge at MAN today - so please DO NOT FLAME ME for quoting it:

"What's so good about sex with 28 year olds?"

"There's twenty of them."

For anyone who doesn't get it, read the article - the "joke" is in the first paragraph of the Madonna interview. I must confess to not finding it funny, but I'm a bit squemish when it comes to paedophilic humour.

That's been doing the rounds for ages. :wink:

The next supersonic airliner will use milk as fuel
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Because milk is the world's fastest liquid
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It's past your eyes (pasteurised) before you've seen it!

NewsFlash

The Vietnamese government have announced that this year that they wont be putting up Christmas decorations or seasonal lighting.

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>They'll only be hanging some Glitter

Strong Enough for a Man, Made for a Gkirk.[size=18][/size]
If You Can't Beat Taxiway Alpha, Join Taxiway Alpha.




http://www.thesurrealist.co.uk/slogan.cgi?...e+Whatever+Here

http://www.mypartypost.com/watchvideo/1033...ts_Display_Ever

http://www.weebls-stuff.com/wab/lurgie/

One for the quiet office environment!!

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/flash/fartboard.html

i bet the neighbours love that!

Two guys sitting in the office chatting when this girl passes them,
going to the toilet.

Guy says "I think she's nice"
Guys mate "well nip over and give her the patter"
Guy "the patter?"
Guys mate "aye.. the patter"
Guy "I don't know any patter I've never found it easy to talk to girls"

Guys Mate "its easy all you have to say is "hello" and she will say "hello"
Then say "it's a nice day isn't it"
Then she will say "Yes it is"
Then you say " but not half as nice as you!"
Then she will say "Oh thank you"
Then the patter will just flow"


15 minutes later...


Guys Mate "look there she coming back out, go and give it a go"


So nervously off he goes, re-running the patter in his head.
He walks up and says "Hello"
She says "Hello"
He says "It's a nice day isn't it?"
She says "Yes it is"
He says "but not half as nice as you"
She says "Oh thank you"













Few seconds of uneasy silence..............................













Then he says........................................














"Been for a shite then?"

Imagine if all major retailers started making their own condoms and kept
the same tag-line...

Sainsbury Condoms - making life taste better
Nike Condoms - Just do it
Peugeot Condoms - The ride of your life
Safeway Condoms - Lightening the load
Royal Mail condoms - I saw this and thought of you
Andrex condoms - Soft, strong and very very long
AA Condoms - for the 4th emergency service
Polo condoms - the condom with the hole
Burger King Condoms - Home of the whopper
Goodyear Condoms - for a longer ride go wide
FCUK condoms - no comment required
Muller light condoms - so much pleasure, but where's the pain
Renault condoms - size really does matter!
Domestos condoms - gets right under the rim!!! (Please!)
Galaxy Condoms - Why have rubber when you can have silk
KFC Condoms - Finger licking good
Minstrels Condoms - Melt in your mouth, not in your hands
Ever Ready condoms - keep going and going
Pringles condoms - once you pop, you cant stop

A married couple is lying in bed one night. The wife is curled up,
ready to go to sleep, but the husband turns his light on, to read a book.
As he reads, he periodically reaches over to his wife and fondles her
'special' place. He does this a few times, but only for very short
intervals, then returns to his book.
The wife becomes more and more aroused.
Assuming that her husband is seeking encouragement, she gets up and
removes her nightie. Her confused husbands asks, "What the hell are you doing?"
His wife replies, "I'm responding to your foreplay."
The husband says, "That wasn't my intention."
His wife, now angry, asks, "Well what the hell were you doing then?
He replies, "Just wetting my finger, so I could turn the page"