found this joke, you may have heard it but i thought it was funny ---


Those German controllers at Frankfurt Airport tend to be a short-tempered lot. They not only expect pilots to know their parking location but how to get there without any assistance. So it was with some amusement that we (PanAm 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground and a British Airways 747 (radio call Speedbird 206) after landing.
Speedbird 206: "Good morning Frankfurt. Speedbird 206 clear of active."
Ground: "Good Morning. Taxi to your gate."
The British Airways 747 pulls onto the main taxiway and stops.
Ground: "Speedbird, do you know where you are going?"
Speedbird 206: "Stand by, ground. I'm looking up the gate location now."
Ground (impatiently): "Speedbird 206, have you never flown to Frankfurt before?"
Speedbird 206 (coolly), "Yes, in 1944. But I didn't stop."

Yesterday, I posted a condensed version of this ditty on a German website that I frequent.

MODERATOR ALERT......deleted...


Yes, a bit touchy, the irony hasn't matured enough.


Heaven forfend if the town quoted was Dresden.

Try this one

Allegedly, a Pan Am 727 flight waiting for start clearance in Munich overheard the following:
Lufthansa (in German): "Ground, what is our start clearance time?"
Ground (in English): "If you want an answer you must speak in English." Lufthansa (in English): "I am a German, flying a German airplane, in Germany. Why must I speak English?"
Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful British accent): "Because you lost the bloody war."


But perhaps my favourite...


Tower: Alitalia 194 - taxi to rwy 28, hold short
AZ194: Ahhh, yes, taxi to rwy 28
Tower: AZ194, cleared for take-off
AZ194: Ahhh, two minutes, need preflight (checks)

...30 seconds later...
Tower: Alitalia 194, YOU ARE CLEARED FOR TAKE OFF NOW.
AZ194: Ehmmm, yes, yes, take off in two minutes

...in the meantime, Rwy 16 had a 737 with a flat, Rwy 14 was chocked, so they took a 767 from Cincinnati to 28. The Crew of the 767 had been flying for 8 hrs...

Tower: Alitalia 194, expedite take-off, we have Delta 767 final on 28 2 miles!
AZ194: Ahhh, we need 30 more seconds...
DL104: Hey Spaghetti, take-off or I'll f**k you from behind!


Gaz

Nae chance! Hess and Himmler have already got my cards marked.

(or in the same wee submariners book that 'Pike' is in)
(a 1970's joke)

>>>

On the off-chance, I could mention the last time the Hibernian
goalkeeper was in 'Europe'....

....he was a tail-gunner in a Lancaster over Berlin!